LJ ([info]not_him_junior) wrote,
2005-05-28 20:10:00
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  • Mood: cheerful

Stabbings and scariness.

Sperm Donor stabbed Vanilla Ice during dinner tonight. Alice reached for the last piece of meat and got stabbed in the hand with a fork.

It was the best thing I'd ever seen!

I talked to the guy I'm not supposed to talk to last night. I can't tell you a single thing either one of us said though because I spent the entire hour and change trying not to crap myself. I am proud to say that I succeeded.

There's still no toilet paper and I had to use napkins this morning. That was gross. (And not actually relating to the above comment except that it reminded me of it.)

Even grosser? I hid all the napkins afterwards. There have been varying cries for help all day.

Uncle Pretty said we need to go shopping tomorrow. And by "we" he means Man-I-Can't-Call-Benji and Puppy-Guy. He told them to go ahead and call people racist all they want, and to have as much fun doing it as they can. You'd get that if you knew us. Maybe.

Alice is crying like a little girl because he's a big 'mo and now he can't jack-off on his own tonight. I offered to help but I don't think Sperm Donor thought that was funny. I thought it was funny. Uncle Teddy Guy I'm Not Allowed To Talk To said something he shouldn't have and now he's tied to a toilet in a bathroom.

Jenny? You out there? *Kicks you in the shins*
Tags: "bonding", alice, alice is a crybaby homosexual-lover, benji!!!, guy i'm not allowed to talk to, i want to watch superstitious, jack-off-alice, napkin theifering, no toilet paper, not crapping my pants, racism is fun for the whole family, uncle pretty

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  • 46 comments

[info]fiddleyoumust

March 29 2006, 06:11:18 UTC 6 years ago

That Uncle Teddy guy sounds creepy but vaugely hot.

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 06:16:23 UTC 6 years ago

He is. He's kind of creepy and creepily hot. I think that's his new name in fact: Creepy Hot Guy I'm Not Supposed To Talk To.

[info]i_heart_pasta

March 29 2006, 08:07:44 UTC 6 years ago

Ow!

Yes, I'm here, I was just out enjoying the snow. In May.

I fucking hate Chicago.

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 08:13:26 UTC 6 years ago

You're just a big old wuss, the snow is fun. And besides; this is one of the only places where you can swim in a pool on Tuesday and skate on it on Wednesday.

[info]i_heart_pasta

March 29 2006, 08:20:01 UTC 6 years ago

And besides; this is one of the only places where you can swim in a pool on Tuesday and skate on it on Wednesday.

That is true. But what if you're swimming and then it freezes over you? Those Chicago pools are deathtraps you know...

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 15:52:53 UTC 6 years ago

Girl. That's why most people tend to, you know, leave the pool every once in a while.

[info]etheral_lie

March 29 2006, 20:05:23 UTC 6 years ago

*claps*

Now, talking to Uncle Teddy wasn't that bad, was it?

And I laughed when I read about Vanilla Ice's hand and er, related problems.

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 22:17:09 UTC 6 years ago

It wasn't really that bad but I was still scared.

Me and Vanilla Ice both sleep in the living room (It's a small place with a lot of people) and Uncle Teddy was singing to him from the bathroom all night. It was funny.

[info]etheral_lie

March 29 2006, 22:21:08 UTC 6 years ago

Sure sounds like it was funny.

So what did you two talk about? Why is Uncle Teddy chained to the toilet?

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 22:43:15 UTC 6 years ago

I have no idea what we talked about. I remember that I was laughing a little. Maybe giggling. I was a little nervous maybe.

Uncle Teddy is tied to the toilet because he said he wouldn't mind me "giving him a hand" and Sperm Donor didn't like that joke. He's a little protective.

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 07:51:34 UTC 6 years ago

Well, thats still good then.


Don't mind Sperm Donor, anything you do, he'll reciporicate. You'll like it. And I'm 80% sure that wasn't a joke.

[info]not_him_junior

March 30 2006, 07:54:29 UTC 6 years ago

Eighty percent? Well. That's more than eight...

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 07:56:44 UTC 6 years ago

Have you ever beed thought of as pretty or beautiful by other people?

If so, then it's more than 80%. It's 120%.

[info]not_him_junior

March 30 2006, 08:11:20 UTC 6 years ago

Um. I don't know. Most of the people I know are my friends so they don't really think I'm hot or anything.

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 08:12:45 UTC 6 years ago

Remember when I said that Uncle Teddy likes pretty things and people?

[info]not_him_junior

March 30 2006, 16:31:24 UTC 6 years ago

...Oh. Okay then.

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 20:00:11 UTC 6 years ago

I'm not sure that you understand the
situation.

Tell me what you think is going on.

[info]not_him_junior

March 30 2006, 22:30:08 UTC 6 years ago

Honestly? I have no idea. I've talked to him like two or three times now and all I remember is last night I told him about some movies I watched.

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 22:49:56 UTC 6 years ago

Well, this is still a start.

[info]not_him_junior

March 30 2006, 22:59:49 UTC 6 years ago

Starts are good.

[info]etheral_lie

March 30 2006, 23:36:56 UTC 6 years ago

Starts imply the begining of something, such as a long and fruitful friendship with a hot, creepy older man.

[info]not_him_junior

March 31 2006, 00:20:26 UTC 6 years ago

Friendship is good. Especially good if Sperm Donor doesn't find out.

[info]etheral_lie

March 31 2006, 01:06:53 UTC 6 years ago

I have a feeling the type of friendship Uncle Teddy may want Sperm Donor won't like.

Just a feeling, though.

[info]not_him_junior

6 years ago

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[info]etheral_lie

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[info]not_him_junior

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[info]etheral_lie

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[info]not_him_junior

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...and 15 more comments... from [info]etheral_lie, [info]not_him_junior Expand

[info]arsenicgirl

March 29 2006, 20:30:36 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, baby, what a sight that musta been! Boys gettin' stabbed 'round the dinner table. Sounds just like home.

You been talkin' to Teddy, finally! See, he ain't so bad. Just a little bit funny in his own way. What'd he say so bad that got him tied up to a toilet? He been playin' kinky like he used to again?

[info]not_him_junior

March 29 2006, 22:34:18 UTC 6 years ago

After I offered to help Vanilla Ice and then Uncle Teddy said something about me "giving him a hand" and Sperm Donor didn't like that much.

It was funny though!
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